It is raining today, and I feel quite...well...emotional.

And just when I thought this emotion is because of the rain, I realize that it's because I am leaving you Xanga. Not in June. Now.

My blogspot is still under construction, but I kept it simple. I think Faiz is right. Keep it simple.
Now if only I could add that picture to my background...hmm. Help!

Relink me (when you are free) on your blogs or bloglines at http://joanneruiying.blogspot.com/
See you there!

I will NOT be updating this blog anymore. Farewell!

Loves,
Joanne

They label civilization as human society or culture group normally defined as a complex society characterized by the practice of agriculture and settlement in cities.  - and this is merely taking it word for word from Wikipedia within 2 clicks.

Is this what civilization is about? To be able to find it's definition just by the usage of Internet and two finger click?
The Tempest explores that in depth, questioning what exactly is civilization and whether we actually need them in the first place. A Nigerian writer once wondered aloud that when the Europeans claimed to have "discovered" Nigeria, for the local people, Nigeria has never been lost.

Why must imperialism be extended and accepted in so many countries as the only way to develop? It is definitely not the only way, but a faster way no doubt. Railway tracks in India, Malaysia...they were all proud results of colonialism development. But if you want rapid development, you would have extended the railway tracks to the whole of Malaysia, not to merely the mine places like Ipoh and Muddy Place (KL). I know this is arguable, and it depends on the perspective you choose to look at. But when the "civilized" countries come to take over the poor,despondent Asian places, did they civilize the place? Do we define civilization in their terms alone? Maybe eating with our hands is an acceptable custom if it is not viewed in "western" civilization eyes.

Miranda, the daughter of the Duke of Milan exclaims that the slave was speaking in "blabbers" . Well excuse me, but if we do not really understand a language, of course it will be a blabber! It is not essentially nonsense, and that is something civilization must take into account. The way we civilize a country must not merely be in the "civilized" terms. Some things are meant to be that way, and so be it. First impressions - when you meet a Black man in the 1950s, and if you are white (and brainwashed to think white men's thoughts). You call them niggers. black. idiots. baffoons. You do not give them an IQ test, but you already know yours is higher. You do not give them opportunities to present their talent and potential, but you have already subjected them to low man's labour.

You set the standards and the precedent, and you do not doubt yourself.
You have self assured identities, with your father being the Earl of some big estate he earned from enslaving the labourers.

Is that it?

Civilization is opened to everyone today because of the limitless education we can gain ( if we have the financial means to do so). But even with the sprouting of new education centres, we cannot say for sure that our generation is as civilized as our parents' one. Divorce rates shoot to the level of god knows which limit (not even the sky, i am sure) and we open bulletin messages if they have all the nonsensical issues summarized in the title (of three letters to a very powerful word). Church going numbers dwindle to double digits, and even I admit that I only meet God at his home during Chinese New Year. Am I the only one?

Okay I just lost steam to write anything more.
Yeahhh...and the website that's under construction is working well. I will soon shift, after KTJ. Hmm. A new life. I need help , I am a handicap in IT stuff!!! I am so used to have boys around me that I think I never bothered to learn.

Oh ya. I think from now on, I wouldnt write about personal people bashing or reflections. More of what I see, so yeah. If you have objections, e mail me

Loves,
Jo

"Joanne tagged herself in 40 pictures" !!!!!!!!!!!!

I think Facebook makes us sound damn perasan! It's like we upload albums for the sheer purpose of displaying ourselves and our favourite poses and pouts. Obviously that's not the case in most instances. Most of us who take pictures have the OBLIGATION to tag other people. Sound ma-fan but i think it's fulfilling. I tag myself only too often, and it is annoying that it shows up on everybody (and yes i mean, everybody) 's New Feed about what I have been doing.

The same goes for the new toilet system in my house. When I flush or bath, I hear the heating system pump from above. It gives out a churning noise that I dont have time to capture (especially since I am naked when I bath). So if its 3am and I happen to be awake and hear that noise, I KNOW that one of my parents just went to the toilet to..erm...release fluids or other stuff.

I know it's not funny, but i find it hilarious that you can track the toilet usage in my house. You must be here to listen and understand. Or perhaps i am so bored that I actually observe random toilet noises.My mum can also find out if my maid is really enjoying herself in the toilet or cleaning it. Toilet noises = free spy cam? hmm.

I finally finished reading the looooooooooong sleeping pill Antony and Cleopatra. Shakespeare is fantastic...but the ancient language and poetic plus long metaphors...is too much for girl in Malaysian Weather. I suppose Shakespeare is not a hotel manager, he does not accommodate international students'/citizens' needs. He is unaware that Malaysia is much hotter than good old Grey Rain-prone London. Hence he does not know that reading his works would be a great sleeping pill in tropical countries.

As we speak, my sister has kindly sent me the movie "27 Dresses". Shall watch it soon and put up review. My mother was telling me through the toilet door (apparently it is an inherited bad habit that we all read in toilets) that the chinese daily gave 27 dresses a very impressive 7/10. She also adds that my all time favourite movie, V For Vendetta (watched it for 5 times already, and counting.) received the same rating.

How could it be possible that a "romantic fluff" --> (as quoted by Katherine Heigl herself )be of the SAME standard or quality as the best political/controversial movie? I dont think 27 dresses can come up with the same stunning quote in V that goes " what is the paradox of asking a masked men for his identity?"
I was only 16 when I watched that movie, but it BOWLED me over. A quick search on imdb helped me relive all the quotes on this movie.




the mask that haunts me, and touches me in a way.

Examine the alliteration (repetition of the letter v for non e lit students) or "aliterasi" in the following lines

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

and here's the punch line - THE SENTENCES MAKE SENSE. BRAVO!

I love V For Vendetta. So confusing and mind numbing.


One name just popped up - E QUINE!!!!!! You look as hot as Natalie eh. My friend shaved her head. Dun mind me putting up the picture. to be honest, I respect you for doing so.



Me & Her. Her hair has grown a lot now, so it's spiky. hehe! btw- i was sleepy then.

If you have time, try reading these movie lines. enjoy. It's too good to be ignored or given a passing glance if you ask me.

Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
__________________________________________
Okay, is it me or is it a bit too long?

Yes, it's too long.

Bloody internet connection. the internet just suddenly went off. and my file transfer was cancelled.
pissed is an understatement of my emotions. UNDERSTATEMENT!!!
That was saving me RM11 (or RM12, i am a Pavillion GSC Fan) worth of GSC CINEMA TICKETS YOU *&^%$##$ STREAMYX!

you see, everything is wrong in Malaysia.
Argh.

Like Razorlight says - In the morning, you know we wont remember a thing.

I have the urge to read now. (storybooks i mean). till tomorrow,

Loves,
Jo

p/s :How could I forget to tell you guys this? I just comfirmed my appointment for a nose job. I trust this plastic surgeon, he's really good and i am assured that there's no side effects! I have plans to do a boob job before I leave for UK. It's so exciting!

My quote - the smallest things may be the reason the biggest things exist

Why do I like shopping again?

I just came back from a short shopping trip at Jusco Melaka. Dont get me wrong, Jusco and Makhota have all the necessities and some of the buy-able brands like Esprit and MNG. But i have never really enjoyed shopping at my hometown ever since I left for college life. Maybe I am that typical ungrateful kampung chick who found something better at KL, and never looked back.

Every trip to a random shopping centre at Melaka was either rushed, stressful or noisy. Somehow the trip at Pavillion or say, One Utama doesnt evoke the same stressful emotions. It was either the case of me rushing for a new pack of Kotex overnight wings (yes i use pads. i dont treat menstruation as a taboo topic) or my mother wanting to buy that Brands herbal essence at Guardian ( fyi, the brands pack was finished when we arrived at jusco). The One Day Sales splashed all over The Star helps us make up a long shopping list. Pair that up with short time and you get Melaka Shopping.

I have never bought something that was a want and not a need in Melaka for quite a while.
Today's trip just destroyed any possibility of me doing casual shopping in Melaka for a long time.

Whining children by the counters, long queues for rebate vouchers, grocery shopping...I almost forgot that I was in an air conditioned area! There was not much clean,normal air in Guardian. They practically used all the displays to hinder our walking space. Unlike the vast space in Watson, I was forced to breathe in human sweat, open pack of milk (or breast milk? I cant be sure) and also weirdly enough, the fumes of smoke (Marlboro red packs i think. okay, i was bored. smelling was so second nature.) I used to hate smoke, or smoking, but ever since it became so rampant and normal, I sort of accepted it. That doesnt mean I approve of it, or that I will ever smoke. Just means that I accepted it, like accepting the fact that one cents are no longer going to be used.

I dont mind Marlboro or whatever, what I do mind is smoking in my face in an air conditioned area.
I dont ask for much either. I just want to breathe normally without smelling things like breast milk and Marlboros mixed together. Not that I could escape. I had to endure all this.

then came the process that I only do in Melaka. Bcos Melaka is so small (I only admit this once) , so are their shopping malls.
I had to go upstairs to check the price of my contact lense solutions in Watson, before rushing downstairs to check guardian's price. You cant expect me to do this in KL because that would mean I have to use a lift and maybe two escalators (not to mention a great deal of walking in my Aldos) to compare prices.

Economic consumerism. Observing human behaviour is so amusing. Give a RM5 discount voucher for every RM50 and people scurry to your store.

But think about it. You have to think of what to buy (usually a few items to total up to RM50) before thinking again (thinking is very tiring) of what to buy with the RM5 voucher. This is a ploy, a consumer deception. Unless you have a lot to buy , you might have to buy Mentos Sours to make sure RM49 becomes RM50. If every consumer does it, Mentos Sour would be sold out!

I cant believe I am getting a degree on economics. Human behaviour ; supposedly the most complex thing; has been ammounted to two things - comfort and mentos sour sales.

We hate cramped spaces, so we prefer to shop in places where you wont accidentally touch someone's ass (or was it an accident? perverts). We wont bother forking out RM1 more for Mentos Sour (unless you love it) until we are faced with a situation of  RM49. So it's either Mentos Sour or no RM5 voucher.

Classic.

If my future mother in law is reading this, I am sorry woman (whoever you are) , but I dont like children. Maybe one or two, three might be pushing it. But anything more and I might as well open a kindergarten. I love children when they open a book and read quietly at the corner of the room. I love children when they look like cherubs and smile, or laugh.

But i detest children when they whine for something. they whine for Paddle Pops.

so if i ever venture out and start a family, you can be sure i wont be populating the world with more than three whining Paddle Pop kids. Lets leave the "let's populate Malaysia. 8 million to 21 million i heard" campaign to safe hands like those who want to commit polygamy or have many children.

All I wanted was my contact lense solution. Ended up with a blog entry and a weird smell experience.

Just my Luck!

speaking of luck, my firefox died but this weblog was still saved. Thank the Lords!

Some "inspirational posters" just for laughs.




p/s : averagely 40 plus people visit my blog per day. but i never know who you guys are, esp since i have no comments etc. well it's just a personal page. never knew so many people are interested in my life. thanks for dropping by

Jo

End has sad connotations, eh? When your pursed lips finally opens and mouth the word "end", you imagine that the world has gone into shambles and you are standing there, while listening to a faint humming of "In The End" by Linkin Park. I was taking down my Forensics Poster from my board and thinking "damn! has it already been one month since I was last memorizing those random quotes? Has it been 30 or 31 days ++ since I have seen that Andy guy or even entered the unfamiliar ISKL gymnasium?. Time is cruel, I say.The driving bengkel lasts for an eternity when it's only 6 hours while 30 days, 30 monotonously wonderful days have gone faster than students running to the dining hall during lunch time.

Nothing really great or promising has happened so far. These three months created more tears than joy. Of course some weekends were total joy, while some days just ended in despair. Utter despair. But as they say to despair, is to give up on life and hope. This itself is a major sin as God has rewarded us with  undeserved good life,and to deny oneself of future  is  not an option, not to mention silly!  In retrospect, I think I was more reassured this term. I had a stable personality and though it was littered with exams, I think I developed stronger bonds with friends. As luck would have it, people who used to make me feel insecure and annoyed either changed for the better or simply avoided any form of conflict altogether.

I can now see the distinction between people who care and people who wont help you out of mud. The new sixth formers are still people I am not intimate with, but occasionally I would try to cook up a conversation. I hope next term, our final term, would provide more opportunities for us to share more than just the same house. August intake people are much closer to us. who will take our place, and my place? We shall see..
I have never been happier this term in the friendship arena, because like they say, when you search for happiness, they are like a butterfly. when you search for it frantically, it eludes you, but when you let it be and go with the flow, it comes and sits silently on your shoulder.

A famous Joanne haunt would be the library, where I am famously known to illegally borrow 4 books and return them within a week or two. Procuring books, especially autobiographies has been both fun and enlightening.
Cross country came and went, with me finally pushing myself to the 19th place. Not a great achievement, but am proud all the same. Joanne's diet plan has obviously failed, evidently due to my parent's frequent visits (hence extra supply of Chinese food).

Exams have also constantly featured throughout this term. At the start of March, I worked my ass off with mediocre/good results, depending on your expectations. I am not exactly entirely pleased, but i suppose i should count my blessings and keep working hard. Hence my big box usually used to bring clothes home has now been filled with books instead.

I used to believe that rules were there to be followed. Being a prefect for nearly a decade or so does that to you. But it has dawned upon me on the existence of  ludicrous rules and why some of the normal students just wont follow them, regardless of how many double drills you give them. I know that as a prefect I should always present myself in the most honourable way. But i need to be realistic as well.. On a personal level, would it be life changing if a girl runs all the way from the tuck shop and comes into the hostel just seconds after the bell rings? Is it an eternal sin to wear white socks for guys or socks with a tick on it? I know that rules provide boundaries and limits, but I still dun really comprehend why we do not let students feel comfortable with the rules, and not live in fear that they would get caught. The more we restrain them like prisoners, the more they feel hatred towards everything and soon enough, they will not care if they have to run a few rounds or get their rooms locked! Meting out punishments would only help if it affects them (as in making them avoid doing so again). I accept rules like dont cut the queue and dont have attention seeking hair. But when my friend shaved HIS head bald, he was reprimanded. I dunno, you judge.

And I know this is a sensitive topic, but I have to view things from a student's perspective as well. I cant just take in, and do things with the usual black and white and blindly ignore all the issues that crop up.
The point is - I am an endangered species who actually likes this school. I love KTJ. I am not saying this because I want to suck up because there is no point now since i am leaving in June. I am saying this because the concept of KTJ is great. The environment and buildings are great. But nobody seems to be on my side. So i say we need changes. We need to see why, and then we shall have more enjoyable school terms ahead and a better school for all of us.

I remember that the competitive environment at my secondary school makes all the rigid rules seem applicable. No coloured bra, demerits for not wearing the school tag. But here in KTJ , I didnt immediately despise the rules.Its just there, and we should follow it to keep the stable environment. Maybe other students had more freedom in their younger days, that's why they feel imprisoned. But after four terms, I still enjoy the friendships, the food (sometimes, only sometimes when they serve my favourite wedges and nasi lemak), and the new lifestyle. This is a good transitional place before I fly off to UK. I cant imagine myself in a college in KL going out whenever I feel like it. I bet you, I would slack like nobody's business. I think when I go to UK, I will still have my own prep time and my own social hour. I determine the time of course, but the concept here is applicable everywhere.

I have high hopes for next term. Surely we would be working very hard,but it is never too late to make new friends and get to know everyone since we are living together under the same roof.

I have done some new things and made some discoveries.

a) I could run long distance quite well, even with big bottoms
b) I could cry for 5 days and 5 hours in a row.
c) I could play tennis (with the wall)
d) I could study until 5am when necessity demands so.
e) I could say random things and stay happy.
f)  I could shop (Well thats not a discovery, thats a well known fact) and wear hairbands everyday ( i have a larrrrge collection)
g) I visited the orphanage.
h) I could crap in Impromptu
i) I found my comfort people, and I am not leaving.
j) I missed my parents a lot, so...

Joanne's Homecoming !!!!!!!!! (oh wait, coming home. too excited )

Some pictures



Me n Ashaari's Quiksilver Sunnies. For four hundred bucks, it looks good! Going to buy a pair soon. An expensive one, not the RM19.90 type you see in Vincci with no UV protection.



During our water gun game in Naquiah. We even built a nice place for them to play the games.





Messaging. Hehe!



My favourite picture captured by Nadz, Amazing!!!
Me and khairul



Prefects playing water guns before naquiah arrived.



Chilling.

Happy Holidays everyone! Easterrrrrrrrrrr

I hope i dun gain weight hehe.

Loves,
Jo